Crowley can feel the guilt and it doesn't make sense----why guilt? Really, it's Crowley who should feel guilty. After all, Aziraphale was offering him something beautiful and wonderful, their friendship. Was it really Aziraphale's fault that Crowley felt so much more for so long? He remembers the night in the car in the 1960's, when Aziraphale had told him he moved too fast, and that was the first time, the very first time, that Crowley had ever felt like it wasn't fair. How had he moved too fast, after 6000 years? How could he move any slower? And then, followed it up with another emotion---no, really, how could he move slower, because he would, for Aziraphale.
He feels the angel fumble a bit with his belt, and then move his hand back up to his stomach. He wants to just take his hand and move it back where he wants it, but that's not how this works. Crowley has become very good at waiting as long as it takes.
And it's not always painful, waiting. He shares with Aziraphale some of the delights he felt in longing. In wanting. In watching Aziraphale secretly while he was drinking or looking out a window, in delighting in his presence in secret. While never as fulfilling as being in his arms, there's something decidedly romantic in it, and Crowley reveled in it.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2019-09-19 12:40 am (UTC)He feels the angel fumble a bit with his belt, and then move his hand back up to his stomach. He wants to just take his hand and move it back where he wants it, but that's not how this works. Crowley has become very good at waiting as long as it takes.
And it's not always painful, waiting. He shares with Aziraphale some of the delights he felt in longing. In wanting. In watching Aziraphale secretly while he was drinking or looking out a window, in delighting in his presence in secret. While never as fulfilling as being in his arms, there's something decidedly romantic in it, and Crowley reveled in it.